could we ever be more?
by 1 FANtastic
Summary: ana and Christian meet in high school and because of the age difference become bestfriends instead of lovers but as the years go on one of them begin to have feelings for the other but the other doesn't feel the same. I KNOW I KNOW BAD SUMMARY BUT GIVE IT A TRY I DARE YOU
1. Chapter 1

`Chapter 1

Breath Ana Breath. No matter how much I try to stay calm I fail. I know it's perfectly normal for me to be scared my first day of high school but I shouldn't be this scared. Thank god I have Kate my best friend and the closest thing I have to a sister. Unlike me Kate isn't scared, she is focused and determined to achieve every goal she has set out for her self. What are those goals you ask? Oh it's your typical teenage girl hopes and dreams like

head cheerleader

2. most popular

all classes

4. Make placement for advance classes

I know what your thinking, she's just a freshmen but If you knew kate you would know if any freshmen could achieve these goals it would be her.

"Ana banana are you ready to rock this school with our kick ass personaltys and hot as all out door bodys"

What body do I have? And as for the personalty I would say im a nice person but far to shy to be half as outgoing as Kate.

"Kate please don't call me that"

"Sorry old habits die hard but we have to go and get our rosters"

Walking around the high school I become less scared. It's almost like my junior high school just bigger. It takes me and Kate forever to find the office. The very rude and much older women ask a million questions before we can finnaly have our rosters. Wait this can't be right.

"Excuse me Miss but I think you gave me the wrong roster."

"And why would you say that?"

"Well this has Senior classes and i'm a freshmen"

"No Miss Steele your roster is correct. Of course you don't have all senior classes but you do have a senior english class, advanced algebra and biology class"

"I'm sorry I don't understand" Surely my confusion is completely unstandable but she just seems annoyed.

"It's simple your grades from your junior high school so that you weren't being challenged so upon request of yu mother we gave you a few advanced classes. Now if you don't mind I have to get back to work"

Of course it all makes sense now my mom. I think she means well but I just want to be with the rest of the kids my age. Speaking of kids my age where the hell is Kate? Oh well my first class is a senior class anyway. I'm walking and walking and walking GOD DAMN IT why are there so many steps. Not really paying attention I bump into a couple making out if you want to call it that. The girl looks scared and embarrassed so she takes off but the boy well lets just say he is pissed.

"What the fuck is your problem"

Holy crap he is cute with the most interesting grey eyes I have ever seen

"Um I I Um " Great steele go speechless now that doesn't make you seem like a weirdo at all.

"Just forget it"

He storms off and I find myself following him. It's not like I want to follow him my class just so happens to be this way.

"Are you following me or something little girl?" Is he talking to me?

"Excuse me i'm not a little girl" Thats right Ana stand up for yourself.

"Well what are you? and why are you following me?"

the nerve of this guy. Okay he is handsome but that doesn't mean i'm follwing him.

"For your information i'm a freshmen and i'm not following you im going to class"

Yay 1 point for me because not only did I tell him off but I also made it to class. I know it might sound crazy but I loved the way his voice sounds. If I close my eyes i can still hear it , it sounds so close

"Your in my seat freshmen"

I'm broken from my daydream by the voice that I so happen to be daydreaming of Crap point 1 for the universe.

"Oh i'm i'm sorry " double crap again with the stuttering Pull it together Ana you just told this guy off.

"Don't worrie about it i'm just going to sit here" God give me strength.

He just looks at me for a while so i look back not really caring if people are lookin at us. In those few moments something happens I don't know what but I have the strangest feeling that this is the star of something what i'm not sure but something none the less. Then the fact he was basically dry humping a girl on the stairs makes me want to never look at him again. So i turn around and pay attention to the teacher who just walked in.

"Goodmorning class i'm and this is Advanced algebra. Lets take time to welcome our one and only freshmen Anastasia Steele"

Are you serious. who wants to be pointed out the first day of school.

"So class remember where your seated because they will be your seats for the rest of the year"

Okay that doesn't seem to bad I could be sitting next to somebody that smells really bad but i'm not i'm sitting next to the sexiest guy I've ever seen. No Ana don't think about then he leans over and wispher

"Well Anastasia this is going to be a interesting school year"

Oh god


	2. Chapter 2

chapter 2

To say my first class was a nightmare would be a understatement. I kept hearing everyone whispering about me and Christian, the fact that Christian kept looking at me didnt help either. It was weird but in a way I liked it. I know nothing will ever come out of my litlle crush but A girl can dream. I have my next class with Kate thank god for that. I hear her before I see her typical Kate.

"Oh my god Ana I heard you and th Grey guy had the hots for each other"

"WHAT? I just meet him."  
"That doesn't mean you don't have the hots for the guy."

Leave it to Kate to jump to conclusions. I can't believe people are spreading these lies.

"Kate you know me better then anyone, does it sound lie me to have the hots for someone?"

As if really thinking about it she finally comes to her senses.

"Now that you put it that way I guess not."

God that was close. The last thing I need is for Kate to try and play cupid. My second period class is way less eventful but what did I expect from social science. Every once and a while I catch some of the girls giving me a nasty look but I really couldn't care less. Once That class is over I decide to talk to my mom before lunch. I make my way to the guidance counselor's office. I get stoped by some guy I seen in my first period class.

"Um I know you robably don't know me but my name is Jose, we have first period together."

"Yea I think I seen you in there i'm Ana."

"I know this is going to be weird but I wanted to know if you wanted to be my partner in Algebra class"

"I already have a partner so I don't know how that would work"

"I know that but the girl I have as a partner is dying to work with Christian"

I don't know why but I think I might be angry. Wait pull it together Ana you don't wnt him remember.

"Well if you ask and he says ok I'll be fine with that"

I guess he is really happy about working with me because he hugs me as if he won the lottery and with that he's gone. Well that was weird but surprisingly comforting. Now what was I doing oh yeah going to see my mom. I can't believe I have to wait out side her office just to talk to my mom but hey what can you do? I waiting for all of 2 minutes when I see Christian walk by with his arm around some girl with blond hair. I guess he changes his girls in between classes the thought makes me laugh out.

"What is so funny freshmen?"

Crap the last thing I wanted to do was get his attention.

"Oh sorry I didn't mean to laugh out loud"

"What are you waiting out here for?"

"You ask lots of question for someone I barely know"

"Well freshmen we're going to be Partners for the rest of the year so I think we should get to know each other"

And then he does the most magical thing he smiles. It's not just any smile, it's a smile that makes you smile and so I do.

"For your information we're not goin to be partners for much longer"

If I didn't know any better I would say he was upset about not being my parnter.

"WHat do you mean we're aren't going to be partners?"

"Well that jose guy said his partner wanted to be your partner, in more then one way i'm sure"

Doulbe crap I meant to say that to myself.

"Well well freshmen are you jealous?"

"Jealous of what ?"

"Jealous that some one wants me...as their partner in class i mean"

There goes that damn smile again.

"Well that depends Christian are you jealous that someone wants to be my partner in class?"

"Yup freshmen I am"

What? wait I have to be hearing things. Did he just say What I think he said. I don't know what to say I don't know what to do, so I just sit still like a idiot.

"Well freshmen I guess I'll see you at lunch "

Breath Ana Breath. Don't pass out Don't pass out. I know it might sound crazy but I think he likes me. Now that I say it to myself it does sound crazy, forget waiting for mom I need kate. I walk as fast as I can to the lunch room to find Kate. She is entertaining the masses basically being Kate.

"Hey Ana Please tell me you missed me just as much as I missed you"

"Yes I did and then some, but I really need to talk to you"

We sit down and eat lunch while I tell her what happened. she doesn't interupt or put in her two cents and for Kate this is a first.

"Wow Ana so do you like him?"

"I don't know Kate. Yes he is cute but he's a senior, not just any senior but how can he possible want me"

"Ana you are the kindest person I know with A face and body to die for, he would be lucky to even have you glance his way, so don't think that he is to perfect for you"

Leave it to Kate to make me feel better. I can be his friend without it being weird right? Just then we see two girls fighting. I watch in awe as these two girls pull ,scratch and push for victory. And just as it's getting really violent comes and breaks it up. 

"Christian I will not go threw another Year of this bitch shit " The one with the blond hair says

"Elena she doesn't mean a thing to me it's you I want. It has always been you"

This is soo dramatic for high school I think to myself but the kiss they both plant on each other makes me want to throw up in my mouth. I see now that Christian doesn't want me he just want every girl I was foolish to think he wanted me. Well it was fun while it lasted. I found out I have all of my senior classes with and I hate it. He constantly looked at me but I couldn't bring myself to look back and when he sat next to me in Biology I made sure to change my sit before I could get stuck with him again. Besides that the rest of the day goes on without a hitch, that is until me and Kate are About to leave I hear a very loud and very angry Christian.

"Freshmen wait up"

I stop but only because I know he will follow me and I might as well hear what he hasto say.

"What is it christian?"

Damn it I really wasn't trying to sound angry.

" just told me your not my partner anymore"

"Well I told you Jose was going to ask him to change partners"

"Yea I know but I thought you wanted to be my partner"

"Christian I think you have way too many partners"

"Ana look I like you I thought I made that clear"

Oh my god! NO STEELE HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND.

"Christian I like you to but as a friend. You have someone and I don't want to be just another random girl you make out with on the stairway. I'm a freshmen and Your a senior we will never be more then classmates" 

"Ana wait, I don't know why I like you but I do. I never really thought about our ages. If you want to be friends that would be great to."

wow Christian Grey wants to be my friend I can't believe it.

"Are you serious? you want to be friends with a freshmen?"

"Well not just any Freshmen I want to be friends with the prettiest and smartest freshmen"

"Well i guess we could do that "

I giggle a little because this is so weird. I mean I like that he wants to be firends but I hate that I kind of feel something for him. I don't know what it is but If we're ever going to be real friends I can't explore these feelings. I think about Christian all the way home. Friends with Christian that could be interesting. Lets just see how long this friendship last. My dad is pulling up in the drive way when I get home.

"Hey annie how was the first day?"

"It was crazy but fun"

"That's good did you make any new friends?"

"Yes dad I made a new friend that I don't intend on letting go"


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone who reads my story. some of you have been asking for the back story so here it is. Ana is 15 Christian is 18. Elena is also 18 so no there is no BDSM. My story will have some time jumps after this chapter. But don't worrie Ana And Christian will always be in each others life. I hope I cleared some things up for you but If you have any questions please feel free to ask me.**

Chapter 3

1 month later

Well Jose kept to his word. Christian and I are no longer partners, but we've become very close friends. I know his girlfriend doesn't like it and nobody seems to understand it , but Christian and I have an amazing friendship. I still like him more than I should but what female wouldn't. Unlike every other girl in this school I respect that he has someone and he says that's one of the things he loves about me. I just feel like I should have someone to.

"Hey freshmen!"

Well well speaking of the devil.

"Will you ever stop calling me that?"

Don't get me wrong I love that he has a nickname for me but out of all the names he picks FRESHMEN.

"Of course I will, when your no longer a freshmen"

Ha ha ha Laugh it up Grey

"Did you want something, or did you just feel like being a pest"

"Wow freshmen ,is that how you think of me?"

"If only you knew how I think of you Christian"

There is silence for a moment and I take time to think about what it would be like as his. STOP IT ANA. YOU ARE HIS FRIEND. That ever-present voice in the back of my head reminds me that I could never be more than a friend.

"So what did you want Christian?"

"um. Oh yeah we're having a slumber party"

What I have to be hearing things.

"A slumber party? what are you 12? and who exactly is we?"

"You can laugh all you want but The grey boys slumber parties are legendary"

"Who will be there?"

"You know the upper class men"

"I think you forgot that I'm still a freshmen"

"I haven't forgotten I just really want you there'

"I don't know. I'll think about it'

"Please freshmen. okay how about this, you can bring Kate and if you don't like it I'll take you home myself"

I pretend to think about it.

"Well since you put it that way, why not"

"Freshmen I promise you'll have a good time"

And then he's gone. I think about the party all day. I ask Kate if she wants to go and she almost dies but insist that we buy new pajamas. So here I am in the mall shopping when I really want to just go home and study.

"Oh my god Ana we're going to have a blast"

"Kate if you say that one more time I might die"

"I'm serious but I'm a little worried about you around Elena"

"Kate what are you talking about?"

"Ana it's no secret Elena hates you. It's something to do with your friendship with her boyfriend."

"Kate that's crazy we're just friends. I know how much Christian loves Elena"

"Ana I know that but if I didn't know you two I would think you guys were a couple"

I never really paid attention to how christian and I looked from the outside looking in. I know some times he gets really touchy feely, but he's just a horny teenager. I would love to believe that in some weird way Christian wanted me, but I know better.

"Kate what are you wearing to the slumber party"

I try to change the very uncomfortable subject.

"I'm wearing something sexy and so are you"

like hell if I am.

"Kate you're crazy if you think I will show all of my goods"

"I'm not saying show them, I'm simply saying make them want to be seen"

I don't know how but she gets me to go to Victoria secret. It's not that I don't like Victoria secret I just don't want Kate picking out something too sexy for me from there. I guess every girl in the senior class had the same idea as Kate because they are all here.

"Kate!"

I hear Elena calling my best friends name and I get a little annoyed. I'm glad Kate is making friends with other people, I just wish her friends didn't hate me.

"Hey Elena what's up"

"Not much I'm so glad you're coming. I wasn't sure Christian was going to invite you"

"Well he didn't. He invited Ana and she invited me"

The look on Elena face is priceless.

"So Ana your coming?"

"Well that was the plan."

I can't help but feel out-of-place as the senior girls glare at me as if I just ruined the damn party.

"Well if you insist on being there try and be presentable. Oh one more thing make sure you stay away from Christian."

I really don't know why she felt the need to tell me that. It's not like I plan on sleeping with Christian. I can not stand to be in this mall any longer, So I decide on a pair of yoga pants, a camisole and long hot pink socks. Kate on the other hand, picks out a night-gown that leaves very little to the imagination. My dad picks us up and Kate and I try to convince him to let me go to the slumber party the drive home.

"Please dad, Everybody will be there"

"Ana I don't feel comfortable with you spending the night with a bunch of boys"

" it's not like that, My brother Ethan went every year before he changed schools. They boys and girls sleep in separate rooms."

My dad takes in what Kate says and his only reply is.

"And where will the parents be?"

"Mrs. Grey sleeps in the same room as the girls Mr. Grey sleeps in the same room as the boys"

Realizing he is fighting a losing battle my dad finally agrees. We drop Kate off and I rush home to get ready. I pack everything I think I will need and wait for my ride. 15 minutes later Kate is banging on my door yelling for me to bring my ass. As I suspected Ethan is driving us but he is also staying, something about him and Christian being close friends. I feel more comfortable knowing that Ethan is staying. The drive to Bellevue is long but totally worth it. I have never seen a house this beautiful. I'm there all of five minutes when Christian founds me.

"Hey Ana where is your pajamas?"

"I should ask you the same thing."

All he has on are dark Blue pajama bottoms and socks.

"Give it up, freshmen I know you like what you see"

"whatever Christian. Do you want to tell me Where I change or do I have to do it in front of everybody "

He stops a girl with black hair that was walking by and introduces her as his sister.

"Mia this is Ana can you show her where to change"

I walk with mia up the stairs down the hall until we enter a room made for a princess. I change as quick as I can And mia talks to me the whole time.

"So Ana how old are you"

"I'm 15 my birthday was last week"

"Oh my god happy belated birthday what did Christian get you"

"Nothing, but it's ok we're just friend I didn't expect him to get me anything"

" you would think as much as Christian talks about you he would at least get you something for your birthday"

What? I didn't know Christian talked about me to his family. I decide to stick with Mia because Kate ditched me the second we got in the house. Mia is fun to be around she's sweet and funny and almost like me minus the being shy part. The party goes on for hours and hours before I realize there are no parents in sight.

"Mia where are your mom and dad?"

"There out of town. That's why Christian And Elliot had the party tonight"

Crap my dad is going to kill me. around two o'clock the party starts to die down. Mia said I could sleep in here room so that's what I decide to do. I lay in bed with Mia and talk about everything before Mia goes to sleep. I'm restless I toss and turn and finally give up and go down stairs to get some Milk. I thought everyone was sleep but I was wrong. Christian, Elena, Kate ,Ethan and Elliot are still awake.

"Freshmen what are you still doing up"

"I just wanted something to drink"

"Well since your up you should come play truth or dare"

"truth or dare is childish"

"please freshmen for me "

God damn it how can I resist that smile.

"Okay I guess it could be fun"

I sit in between Kate and Ethan not really wanting to talk to Kate. It starts out as your typical game of truth and dare. People making out with people, people taking off clothes you know the same old same old, but It takes a drastic turn when it's Kate turns.

"Okay Ana Truth or Dare?"

"Um Truth"

"Okay is it true that on your birthday all you wanted was a kiss for the first time?"

I know Kate loves me but I can't help but feel a little hurt by her question.

"Well yeah that's true"

Everyone starts to laugh and for a second I hate my best friend. Is it so wrong for me to want a first kiss .I don't want to be here anymore. I get up to leave and Ethan insist that I stay so I do. I don't say much and I get instantly annoyed when Elliot dares Christian to give Elena a Hickey. That was me que to leave. I go to the kitchen and get something to drink like I planed on doing in the first place. I hear footsteps walking towards the kitchen and I instantly think its Kate, but it's Christian. I know I shouldn't be mad at him but I am.

"Christian look I'm really not in the mood"

"Ana why didn't you tell me about your birthday?"

"Well I didn't think you would care, we just meet"

"If you wanted a kissed for your birthday all you had to do was ask"

And without warning he places his lips on mine. The kiss we share is gentle yet passionate. He has me so close to him I can feel his frantic heart beating. I moan and that's all it takes for him to lose control and I don't stop him. He places me on the counter and I wrap my legs around his waist. I stop to look him in the eyes and all I see is love. His eyes are trying to tell me something, I don't know what but I feel like I want to give myself to him completely.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING"

We turn to the voice and find a very pissed off Elena. Elliot is cheering his brother on ,Kate is shaking her head and Ethan looks disappointed.

"Elena calm down I'm drunk"

Wow so much for me thinking he cared about me.

"Christian if you think for a minute I believe that your crazy"

"Elena she's a freshmen for crying out loud"

"So you don't have no interest in her"

He looks at me and I say a silent prayer that he doesn't break my heart with his response.

"Besides her friendship I have no interest in her"

I feel like shit. I can't believe he could say that. I want to cry but I decide to just go home. I run upstairs to grab my clothes without waking up Mia. I leave her my phone number so she could call me. Walking back down the stairs I see a fully dressed Ethan.

"Ethan where are you going?"

"I'm taking you home"

Thank god for that.I don't think I need to say bye to anyone , but Kate decides now is a good time for her to be my best friend again.

"Ana don't leave"

"It's okay I'll see you at school"

"Well do you at least want me to go with you?"

"No you fit in here"

And that's the last thing I say before I leave. Ethan being the wonderful guy that he is said I was too good for Christian. I know Ethan looks at me as his little sister so I understand why he is so pissed that Christian would do what he did. I thank the high heavens that I have my house keys. I go straight to my room and lay down, ready to drift into sleepland. I hear my phone beep and I scramble to find it. What do you know a text from Christian

**I wish you would have stayed. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings by what I said I really do care about you if that makes it any better. please please don't hate me. *Christian**

Now he cares. I don't get him, I mean we were fine. We were friends and now after that kiss I don't know where I stand with him. He's afraid that I might hate him ,but I'm afraid I could never hate somebody I care about so much.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to my BETA. you guys asked for Christian's point of view ,so you guys got Christians point of view. As always I love you for reading. **

Chapter 4

CPOV

It's been three days since the slumber party. I feel really shitty about how I treated Ana. I don't regret kissing her, but I know Ana and I could never be more than friends. She's a freshmen and I'll be leaving for college this year so what's the point of trying to start anything with her. I tried calling her and I've sent her an insane amount of text messages, but she hasn't said a word to me. I don't know why but I just feel the need to talk to her. With that being said, I made sure to make it to first period early just so I could tell her I'm sorry. I'm waiting and waiting but no sign of Ana. She walks in the class one minute before Mr. Hyde, says hello to Jose, and that's it. The whole class I will her to look at me or at least in my direction, but it doesn't work. She seems happy, not that I don't want her to be happy, but she seemed so upset when she left the party Friday. Once the class is over I take it upon myself to make her talk to me.

"Hey Freshmen!"

She stops and smile - _God how I've missed that smile._

"Hey Christian. What's up?"

"Um, I just wanted to say sorry about the party."

"Don't worry about it."

She starts to walk off like the conversation is over.

"Ana wait - I've been texting you all weekend."

"Oh yeah, I've been busy."

She's been busy? What the hell could she have been doing that she couldn't call or return my text message.

"Ana, what's going on? It seems like you're pulling away from me. Look if this is about what I said I'm sorry if it hurt your feelings, but I don't want to lose you. As a friend that is."

"Christian look I'm not mad. I understand that we're friends. I just realized how much I wanted to be with somebody romantically. So Ethan and I have been trying to form some type of relationship."

WHAT THE FUCK?

"Ana what the hell are you talking about? Ethan is 3 years older than you."

"Christian that doesn't matter. He has known me for most of my life. He really cares about me."

"But Ana I care about you."

"I know you do, but you care about me as a friend. Look I'm not saying I don't want us to be friends, I'm just saying if I have a boyfriend things are going to be different. We won't see or talk to each other that much."

I can't believe this. I can't really explain how I feel, but I guess it's better to have her as a friend than not have her at all. The day drags on. By lunch I just want to punch something. I sit at my same old lunch table with the same old people. Elena and Kate seem to be spending a lot of time with each other. So I guess that explains why Ana has been hanging with Jose so much in school. The whole school day is horrible. In every class I have with Ana she doesn't say anything to me.

I need to get over whatever this is - I'm Christian Grey, I can have anyone I want. So I leave last period early and text Leila to meet me in the school's old green house. I've haven't been with Leila in a while mainly because Elena has been like my shadow. I wait all of three minutes before I see Leila. I know she misses being with me and I plan on taking full advantage of that. I grab her as soon as she is in reaching distance and kiss her for all I'm worth. We kiss each other as if we're trying to devour one another. She pulls at my jeans and I pull at hers. I don't want to do this I just need to get my mind off of Ana. I pick Leila up and back her into a wall. This should be quick. I enter Leila slow and just still myself so she can feel me. I hear my phone beep but pay it no attention. I pull out of Leila slow and push back into her fast and hard. She pushes down on my dick and I bounce her back up with every thrust I make. I can feel her getting close she pulls at my hair and scratches every piece of skin she can get her nails on. I'm building and building, and then I crash and so does she calling out my name. We try to catch our breath and once we do I know exactly what she's going to say.

"Christian I don't understand why we can't be together."

Here we go again.

"Leila I told you, Elena will try to make our lives a living hell."

"If you say so. Anyway do you want to come over tonight for around two?"

No not really but I can't say that to her, I'm not that much of a jerk.

"Yeah just text me."

As I watch Leila leave I remember my phone beeping so I check it and see that it's a text. Oh shit it's from Ana.

***Hey** **was wondering if you could take me home* Ana**

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_ I hope she didn't leave. I make my way to the front of the school as fast as I can. Please God let her be there. The bell rung around the time I was busy fucking Leila's brains out so there aren't many people left in the front of the school. But I relax as soon as I see her. Thank the high heavens she's still here.

"Hey freshmen."

"Hey Christian I thought you left."

As I walk closer to her that beautiful smile starts to turn into a frown.

"Nope I'm still here. I had some thing I had to make up for."

"Yeah I bet you did. Nice scratches."

_God damn it. _

"Uh yeah, so are you ready to go?"

"No that's fine. Ethan is coming to pick me up"

You have to be fucking kidding me.

"Ana, look I can take you. It's really not a problem."

"No Christian it's fine, but I was thinking how about we all get together Friday and do something."

"Yeah I would really like that."

"Okay so I'll call you."

Just then Ethan drives up. She tells me bye. I can't help but to be pissed off when she kisses Ethan. If I felt like shit this morning I feel even shittier now.

**Four days later**

All week has been pure hell. Leila has been texting me non-stop and Elena hasn't let me out her sight at all since she seen the scratches by Leila. But that's not the worst part, I had to watch Ana float on cloud nine. Her and Ethan are in a full-blown relationship. Ethan and I decided to play basketball yesterday and he told me then. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them both but I can't get over these feelings I have for Ana. To make matters worse, I have to go out with the happy couple - well we're all going out together as friends. It will be Elena, Kate, Mia, Elliot, Ethan, Ana, and myself. I wanted Elena to stay home but Kate insisted that she came. We all decide to go to a karaoke club. Everyone is here except Ethan and Ana. So we take it upon ourselves to pick some songs we want to sing and that's when I see her. I hadn't realized how much I've missed her.

"Hey freshmen, you made it."

"Hey Christian."

"So where's your boyfriend?'

"Parking the car. So did you pick a song you wanted to sing?"

"I don't know if I want to embarrass myself."

"Well I know what song I want to sing."

"And what song is that?"

"You have to promise me you won't laugh."

"I promise I will not laugh."

"I want to sing Katy Perry's Teenage dream."

"Why that song?"

"That's how Ethan makes me feel."

Well there goes my good mood.

"Christian, look I know we haven't really been spending time together, but you do know I consider you my best friend."

Bestfriend? I didn't know that.

"Yeah Ana what's wrong."

"Nothing. I just think I might love Ethan."

LOVE? WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE MEAN LOVE?

I don't really say any thing. I just remain distant for the rest of the night. I can't enjoy myself. I watched as Kate and Leila sang some song by Britney Spears, and then listened while Elliot tried to rap some Drake song. But my heart broke as I watched Ana sing Teenage dream to Ethan. The two of them have been stealing kisses from each other all night. Everyone keeps going on and on about how happy they look. So I do the only thing I can do. I make out with Elena until I'm so hard it hurts. Elena says she has to go to the bathroom and then she'll be ready to go. I decide to wait outside for her. I think about everything while I wait, but I mostly think about Ana. Maybe I shouldn't have said what I said that night. Maybe I should have told Ana how I felt? How I felt is pointless now because she clearly is happy.

"What are you thinking about?"

I hear her voice and begin to relax.

"Not much. Why are you out here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were ok. You seem weird."

"I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me."

"Christian I know when you're lying."

Of course she does.

"Ana, I just don't know if I want to be with Elena."

"Oh I know what this is about."

"You do?"

Crap if she knows I love her I don't know what I'll do.

"Of course I do. It's about Leila right."

Hell no it's not about Leila it's about you is what I want to say but I could never bring myself to say that to her.

"Yeah it's about Leila"

"Christian look, if you want to be with Leila then be with her. Elena is a grade-A bitch and you could do better. You should feel happy in a relationship. I know I do and I have you to thank for that."

"What do you mean you have me to thank for it?"

"That night at the party I really thought we could make something out of that kiss, but when you said you value our friendship I realized that is all we'll ever have. I was upset at first and Ethan was there for me the whole weekend. That's how our relationship started."

I fucking hate myself right now I pushed her away for what? I love Ana. I want her to be happy, but I hate that she isn't happy with me.

"Ana I love you."

"Christian, I love you too. You're one of my closest friends. Listen I have to go. I'll call you."

I can't believe she can just left like that. I guess the only thing I can do now is be her friend. I will be her best friend. I'll be there every time she calls. If Ethan ever breaks her heart, I will be there to put it back together. Fuck this! I have to hurry up and get Elena home so I can fuck the shit out of her and try to forget about Ana.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Apov**

_End of the school year_

I love Ethan so I want to take our relationship to the next level. So I decide to make an appointment to get on birth control. They say I can come in tomorrow. I briefly wonder if I should go by myself. I can't ask Kate, since she has become best friends with Elena. Speaking of Elena, I wonder where Christian is. I haven't spent time with him in a while. Well that's a lie. We spent time together as part of a group of friends every weekend. But I can't remember the last time Christian and I have been together by ourselves. I send him a text.

***I think we should spend time together before you leave for college. I miss you**

**Ana***

I wait five minutes, and then ten but nothing from Christian. I begin to feel sad, but then I realize he is probably in between someone legs. If Christian could be different maybe we could have had something. Don't get me wrong, I love the friendship we have. I just wish he knew how I felt about him when we first met. Oh well no use crying over spilled milk.

On the day of my appointment I'm scared out of my mind. I go alone since I didn't have anybody else. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I got a shot and then they sent me on my way. Walking out I hear my phone beep and see a text from Christian.

***Do you still want to spend time with me before I leave?**

**Christian***

Wow, now he decides to text back. I text him and tell him where to pick me up. Ten minutes later he's driving up. I hadn't realized how much I missed his face.

"Christian, I missed you so much."

"What are you talking about? We just went bowling Saturday."

"I know but you and I haven't done anything by ourselves in forever."

"Well what do you expect when you're always with your boyfriend."

If I didn't know any better I would say he's mad.

"You have some nerve. You and Elena are constantly dry humping each other."

"Oh believe me Ana, we do more then dry hump."

Ewww! I did not need to know that.

"Well maybe I will find out what all the fuss is about."

"What do you mean?"

"Well I'm thinking about having sex with Ethan."

Everything stops. The car stops, my breathing stops, and finally Christian stops breathing.

"Ana are you serious? I didn't know you guys were that serious about each other."

"We love each other. I'm sure you had sex with people you couldn't care less about"

He doesn't say anything. I don't know why he cares about what I do. We drive a little while longer before he stops in front of a house. I don't know whose house this is but I see Leila walk out and become confused.

"Christian what's going on?"

"Well Leila texted and said he had the house to herself and wanted company."

_ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!_ I know Christian will drop whatever he is doing for a quick fuck. But I thought he cared enough about me to at least drop me off home before he ditched me to get laid.

"Christian I thought we were going to spend time together. You graduate in a couple of weeks"

"Ana listen, I love you. I know what you're going to say, but _I love you_. I can deal with you being in a relationship with one of my best friends. I just can't deal with you fucking one of them."

I don't know what he expects me to say. If he would have said that he loved before Ethan maybe I would feel different then how I feel now, because at this very moment in time I feel pissed.

"Christian you can not tell me you love me. I thought I was too young. You are selfish and careless. I don't care how you feel about my relationship with Ethan, and why should I? You never once cared how I felt about you and Elena, or you and Leila. If you're going to be my friend, be my friend and support the choices I make. If Ethan and I have sex tonight we will not be fucking, we will be making love."

I get out the car and walk to the bus stop. If there was ever any chance of there being a relationship between Christian and I, surely he just ruined it.

_**Cpov Graduation Day**_

Ana hasn't said one word to me since I said love you. I've seen her, but she makes sure to stay by Ethan's side. I don't know if they had sex but Ana seems different. It's something about her that's changed. I can't put my finger on it. Ethan on the other hand is the same old nice guy that he has always been. They both seem really happy. I might hate them being together but they are still two of my closest friends, so I'm happy if their happy. The end of our graduation ceremony is the same as always - a bunch of congratulations from people I don't know; endless pictures with my family, and everyone trying to get invited to the last party I will throw. I don't really want to have a party. I just feel like everyone expects me to have one. I see my nearest and dearest- Elliot, Mia, Mom, Dad and Elena. Ethan's graduation is also today so I don't expect him to be here. I at least thought Ana would be here. I guess she had to pick between the two of us, and she choose Ethan. I just want to get drunk and fuck anything that's walking.

"Who is coming to my party tonight?"

"Everyone. Well everyone one except Ana and my brother."

"Kate, what are you talking about?"

"The two of them are having dinner or something."

I swear to god they do everything together. I decide to try and get my mind off of Ana.

"So Elena do you want to come over to help me set up for the party."

It's no secret what Elena and I are going to do. Mia looks like she wants to rip my head off.

"Christian can I speak with you for a minute."

"Of course anything for my little sister."

We walk until we reach a tree. Mia is the apple of my eye. I love her with all of my heart. So why does it look as if she wants to kill me?

"Christian I never wanted to hurt you so much in my life."

"Mia what did I do?"

"You left Ana to go fuck Leila because your upset that she moved on with her life. The minute someone brings up Ethan and Ana all you want to fuck Elena."

"I'm not thinking about Ana. If I want to have sex with someone I'll do it."

"You're a liar. Ana loved you at one point of time. You just couldn't see it. No matter how many girls you have sex with, none of them will equal Ana."

"Mia what can I do if she doesn't love me anymore?"

"You can try to be happy for two people that really care for one another."

I am happy for them; well at least I pretend to be happy for them. How can I be happy when somebody I love who decides to be with one of my friends? I know it's childish to think like this, but I just can't help it. I decide to have dinner with my Mom and Dad before I have my party. I'm sitting in the restaurant listening to my dad tell me how proud he is of me. When I look up and see Ana And Ethan in a passionate kiss. Ana looks as if she has been crying. I would love for them not to see us; naturally, Mia on the other hand has different plans.

"ANA! ANA!"

Gosh could she scream any louder. As soon as Ana notices Mia she begins to walk to our table. I have to admit she looks breathtaking. She has on a tight brown sleeveless dress with brown high heels, and her beautiful brown hair in a bun. She looks sexy, smart, and grownup but most of all she looks happy. Is it selfish of me to hate that she is happy and I have nothing to do with it?

"Oh my gosh Mia I was just going to call you?"

"Why"

"Look what Ethan gave me."

She has a necklace with an E made up of diamonds.

"Oh Ana it's so pretty."

"Oh sorry Christian congratulations! I'm so happy for you."

"Sure you are."

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"Nothing it's just that I thought I would see you at my graduation, since we're friends." Point one for me.

"Well since you had Elena and Leila there I didn't think my presence was needed." One point for Ana, and then she's gone.

After dinner I head home and start getting ready for my party. It doesn't take long since all I really need is liquor and music. An hour before the part starts Elliot And Mia run to get some food, so I decide to pick out something to wear. I put everything on hold when the door bell rings. It's Ana.

"Um...I wanted to talk to you."

What? Why?

"Okay. What do you want to talk about?" 

"Christian I realized that you're leaving for college and I know this is last minute, I just need you to hear me out."

"Okay."

"Christian, I love Ethan I couldn't be happier if I tried."

"Ana I really don't need to hear this."

"Yes you do Christian. As I was saying, I'm happy until the moment I see you. Every time we're near each other I second-guess everything that I have with Ethan. I know that makes me seem like a bad person but it's just how I feel."

"Ana what do want me to say? I told you how I felt and you left me."

"Christian you told me you loved me outside of the house of a girl you were about to fuck."

She does have a point.

"Christian tell me, how you feel now that it's just the two of us?"

"Ana I love you. More then a friend should love another friend. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine. I want to own your heart, because you own mine."

I waste no more time on talking. I reach for her and pull her into a slow passionate kiss. I hold her as my lips move on their own accord; my tongue massages hers. I want to live in this moment.

"Christian wait, what about Ethan?"

"We have to tell him"

"We? You'll tell him with me?"

"Sure. I want to do everything with you."

There goes that smile.

"Okay. We can tell him at the party"

Ana leaves shortly afterward. I'm sad to see her go, I know once she comes back we can tell Ethan and begin a relationship. The party starts and there's no sign of Ana. Maybe she's just scared and taking her time is what I keep telling myself. Two hours into the party and no sign of Ana. She isn't coming, I can feel it, she isn't fucking coming. What was the point of her coming here? Fuck this I might as well drink my pain away; better yet where is Elena? There she is in her crop top and her high-waisted shorts.

"Elena baby I need you." Technically, I don't need her, I need Ana, but she will have to do.

"Show me what you want baby."

I lead her into my room and lose myself. I enjoy myself as she leaves a trail of kisses from my ear to my chest. She unbuckles my belt and grabs a handful of me. I feel myself getting hot. It's something about how she's kissing me and stroking me that's making me hard as wood.

"I'll make you remember me Christian Grey."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure you will. She pulls out my dick and I watch as she sucks and strokes my length. I just want to get to the good part, but I might as well enjoy the show. I'm almost there when she stops everything and impales herself on my dick. SHEESH! I grab onto her as she rides my dick. I need this to be rough. It's too much like love making when it's slow like this. So I flip her over and drive my dick into her repeatedly. Yup, this is just what I needed. I don't even remember why I was mad. OH SHIT! I can feel myself getting closer. I rub her clit so she could hurry up and we could cum together. And we do. I lay there for a while watching as Elena gets dressed.

"Christian, you've been weird lately, I thought I was losing you."

She crawls up the bed and kisses me just as the door flies open. Shit it's Ethan and Ana!

"Um sorry Christian, Ana said you wanted to talk about something but we see you're busy."

The look on Ana's face is heartbreaking and I hate that I'm the reason for it. "Ana listen-"

"No Christian it's okay I can tell him."

She wipes the one tear that has escaped her eye, and turns to Ethan and says, "Um... what Christian and I wanted to tell you was um… Christian is going to Harvard too. Surprise!"

"WOW really? That is so cool! I can't believe this. Why don't we talk about this we your not naked?"

He laughs but I don't find anything funny. Ana leaves out the room she's practically running. The rest of the party was pointless. Everyone had a blast but I didn't see Ana for the rest of the night. I thought she left without so much as a goodbye but Mia gave me a box that she said Ana gave to her for me. Attached to it is a letter.

_Dear Christian,_

_You really had me fooled. I really was willing to give up my happiness for you. I know now we could never be more then what we are. At first I hated that but now I grateful for it. So thank you for showing me that words mean nothing. Anyway I wanted to get you a graduation present. I remember you said you wanted a grand piano of your own one day, so I got you one._

_Love always, your freshmen _

_Ana_

I open the box and inside is a miniature Grand piano. I will cherish this forever simply because it's from her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to my BETA. You're a rock star. **

**CPOV - Second Year of College**

I wish I could say I've changed, but I haven't. I wish I could say I've grown up, became a better man and stopped fucking anything that walked, but I haven't. I also can't say I want to. I know at one point of time I had a reason to change. My reason has been happy with someone else for two years now. I try not to think too much about her but every once in a while I dream of blue eyes, brown hair and sweet kisses that left me wanting more. See, there I go again, daydreaming about someone I can't have. To make matters worst, I have to see Ethan almost everyday. I don't hold any bad feelings toward Ethan. I just hate that he has to bring her up every time we're together. I know to everyone it seems like Ana and I aren't close anymore, but that's just not true. We call and text each other a great deal. We don't really talk about anything serious. I just like knowing what's going on in her life. I hate when I do this - sitting around thinking about Ana.

_CRAP!_ Speaking of Ana, that reminds me I have to meet Ethan. I know it might seem crazy but I would never stop being close to Ethan, I truly and honestly value our friendship. I leave my off-campus apartment and start my short walk to Ethan's place, admiring every female along the way. I know I had my fare share of girls in high school, but I've gotten worst. It's not all my fault that girls just seem to throw themselves at me. I have yet to find anyone that I would even consider being in a relationship with, not that I'm looking.

If I'm honest with myself I haven't really been in any sort of relationship since Elena. She wanted to stay together once we left for college, I just didn't see how that would work since she went to UCLA and I'm in Harvard. She cried, she yelled, we fucked, and left it at that. She calls every once and a while but I try to keep the conversation to a minimum. After all she is the reason Ana and I never took the next step. I can't really blame Elena for that. It was my fault entirely. I've always known that. I do this to myself constantly. First I think of Ethan, and then I think of Ana; within minutes I find myself with a sad look on my face, Then I try franticly to smile before Ethan asks what's wrong. I knock on his door. I hear him talking to someone inside and I briefly wonder who it could be. He opens the door and to my surprise, he's all by him self.

"Hey Christian. Come in and say hi to Ana."

"Wait she's here?" Oh, how I've missed her face.

"Well not exactly."

I'm sure my confusion is completely understandable. He pays no attention to my confused state; instead he walks me to his living room and turns his laptop around showing me the most beautiful face I have ever seen.

"Wow. Ana you look different."

She looks so grown up. Hair her is longer and her breast are bigger but those eyes are the same shade of blue.

"Hey Christian. Long time no see. I was just telling Ethan how much I've miss you guys."

She misses me. I don't know how to feel, what to say or do and I honestly just want to stare into her beautiful eyes and tell her how much I still care for her.

"Hello earth to Christian."

I'm broken out of my trance by Ethan waving his hand in my face.

"Um yeah I'm sorry I guess I was stuck daydreaming."

"Probably about one of your girls."

Ethan's joking, but I don't want him to bring up other women in front of Ana.

"Whatever man, Listen can you wrap up your conversation so we can get dinner"

I listen as he says his farewell to Ana, promising to call when he gets back. I don't want to sound jealous, but I realize just how much they care one another. I would never want to come in between that. I just wish what happened that night never happened. I have no right to feel any type of way about the two of them. It doesn't change the fact that I do.

Ethan and I have dinner every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It's sort of our way of making sure we keep up with each others lives. We only have one economic class together. We try to switch it up every once in a while with where we eat, but we always end up at this one burger place. I order the same old burger and so does Ethan. The waitress almost breaks her neck to make sure we get our orders as fast as possible.

"Man I think she likes you."

Ethan always goes on and on about how he thinks every girl we come in contact with wants to have sex with me.

"You think every female likes me."

We share a laugh before we get into what we plan on doing for Thanksgiving break. I plan on eating and fucking once I get back to Seattle, Ethan on the other hand wants to take Ana somewhere special. Of course he does.

"So I see you and Ana are still going strong?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I just want to drop everything and run back home to be with her."

"Wow. So, do you think this could go all the way."

Please say no, please say no. He thinks about it for a while before he finally starts talking again.

" She's still young so I haven't thought that far. I mean, I've known her almost her whole life, our relationship is better then ever, even though we're so far apart and I love her with all my heart."

He pauses for a while as if he doesn't want to say whatever it is that he needs to say.

"Ethan, what's the problem? You two sound perfect."

"I know. When you hear it everything sounds perfect. It's just sometimes Ana seems distance and sad. I know she loves me. I'll never doubt that - It's just I don't always feel like she's truly honestly _in love_ with me."

I've never seen Ethan like this. Whenever he talks about Ana his voice is filled with joy, now he just sounds sad and angry. I should at least try to do something.

"Ethan listen to me, that girl loves you. That's all that matters."

What the hell is wrong with me? I should just let him break up with her if he feels this way. No that wouldn't work, Ana will be heart broken if I let that happen. I know I might seem like I couldn't care less and most of the time I don't, but I would do anything to prevent Ana from being hurt by a guy she loves. I can't let that happen again.

**APOV 1-week later**

I arrived at Logan International Airport about twenty minutes ago. I've been calling Christian's phone with hopes that he could drive me to Ethan's place. I guess this is what I get for trying to be spontaneous. I just wanted a little time alone with Ethan before he heads home and gets surrounded by family. I might as well get a cab. I hate cabs. I just find getting in a car with somebody you don't know creepy. So I get a cab and decide to call Mia; that way if I get murdered I could at least scream out my killer's name. I laugh a little in my head. I'm too much sometimes. What was I doing? Oh yeah Mia.

"Hey Mia. I made it in one piece."

"Oh my gosh Ana, Ethan is going to be so surprised."

"I hope so. I know I should have told him but I really want to spend a day or two with him before he goes home. Please Mia, tell me I'm not being selfish."

"Ana you're not being selfish. If anything this shows just how much you love him."

"Thank you Mia, I really needed that."

"Ana listen, I want to ask you something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way."

"Mia you can ask me anything."

"Okay. Ana are you going to be okay when you see Christian?"

I take a while to think.

"I think I should be okay. I mean once upon a time I had extreme feelings for him, but I'm happy with Ethan and I would never jeopardize that. Besides you know your brother, he's probably plowing into something as we speak."

Mia and I burst into a fit of giggles. I may be laughing but my heart breaks just a little thinking of Christian with someone else. I really don't know why I do this to myself. Yes, at one point in time I thought Christian wanted to be with me. I had to find out the hard way that he didn't. He never really cared about me the way I cared about him. And just like that I'm back to feeling nothing for him - well almost nothing. I talk to Mia all the way up the stairs until I reach Ethan's door. _Crap it's locked!_

"Mia he isn't here and the door is locked."

"You mean to tell me you don't have an extra key?"

"No. I guess I could wait for him to get home."

Leave it to me to have to wait on the floor in front of my boyfriend's apartment.

"Why don't you just get Christian to bring you his spare key?"

"What? Why does Christian have a spare key?"

"I'm not sure, but Ethan has a spare to Christian's as well. I'm just suggesting it so you won't have to wait for god knows how long."

"Okay you have a point. But he's not answering his phone."

"Just go to his apartment. I talked to him this morning. He said he didn't have classes this after noon."

"Text me his address and I'll try calling him again to let him know I'm coming."

I jump back into a cab and head to Christian's, only to realize I've could've walked. I'm nervous, not just any kind of nervous - I'm sweating and trying to hold down my lunch kind of nervous. I need to calm down, he's just another friend; a friend that I used to care about and almost left my boyfriend for. Well so much for a pep talk, I'm here. I'm slightly surprised. It's a lovely neighborhood with all kinds of people walking up and down the street. I follow Mia instructions and walk up to the third floor and find apartment C5. I knock once, no answer; then twice, no answer. I swear if he isn't here I'll kill Mia. I knock once more as hard as I can and just like magic it opens. For a minute I think I have the wrong apartment because this girl standing in front of me is not Christian.

"Um I was looking for Christian."

I'm not upset, well at least I'm trying not to be.

"And you are?"

Well this bitch has some nerves.

"I'm his friend. If he's here tell him Ana needs to see him."

She turns on her heels and I briefly hear what sounds like a conversation, before I hear what sounds like running.

"Ana what are you doing here? Are you okay?"

Christian wraps me in a hug so tight, it's almost like he's crushing me. I marvel in the feel of being in his arms briefly. I wish it could always be like this, but I remember why it can't and pull myself from his embrace. The girl that opened the door hasn't left yet; instead she's just standing there with a look of hatred on her pretty little face. Christian isn't paying her any attention. He's too busy looking at me as if he's taking a mental picture.

"Um Christian your friend looks upset."

He turns to the girl and says a few words to her. I guess she liked whatever she heard because she wraps her arms around his neck and kissed him like she's trying to make a point. Then I realize she is, her point is she doesn't know who I am, but he's hers. Oh please if I could deal with Elena and Christian on a daily basis, I can deal with this. They finally come up for air and she leaves. Now it feels really awkward.

"Um I won't stay for long, I just needed the spare key to Ethan's apartment."

"Why are you in such a rush?"

"I'm not in a rush. I just really want to surprise Ethan."

"Oh. That explains why you're here?"

"Of course, what other reason would I have to be here?"

He looks slightly disappointed. What is his problem? I'm pretty sure he just had sex with little Miss Attitude.

"So I see not much has changed."

I don't know why I thought he would ever change.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, Christian Grey all time play boy."

I start to giggle and stop instantly. The look on Christian's face tells me he doesn't think it's funny.

"Well if that's what you think of me, fine."

"Um okay, so are you going to give me your spare key or what?"

I don't understand why he's so hostile. I talk to Christian a lot and he never sounds like he does now.

"Sure, let me just grab my keys."

"Wait, you're coming with me?"

"Yeah, I just want to make sure you get there safe."

"Christian, you don't have to I'll catch a cab."

"Nonsense, besides I know how much cabs freak you out."

Awww, he remembered. Stop it Ana, don't do this to yourself.

"Okay, I guess if you insist."

I can't explain what it's like walking with Christian. People stare and women give me the evil eye. It feels so right and yet so wrong. I am more than relieved once we get to Ethan's. He opens the door and turns to leave.

"Wait, you're leaving?"

After two years and the heartache he put me through, I can't believe I want him to stay.

'Yeah, I know you and Ethan are going to want some time alone."

He wiggles his eyebrows to make his point and I giggle.

"Yeah, that's true, but I plan on cooking for him and I know how much you miss home cooked food."

He smiles his always enchanting megawatt smile and decides to stay. Once we start to talk, it's like I'm that freshmen falling in love with the senior all over again. He tells me about all of his classes that he's passing and planning on starting his own company once he graduates. I'm in awe of how passionate he is about his future. As much as I love talking to Christian, I need to start dinner. I take out my iPod and start to play a song I can cook to. Lana Del Ray's Young and Beautiful begins to play. I don't know why I like this song so much, it just draws me in. I'm lost in the music and I don't realize Christian has entered the kitchen.

''I like this song, it always reminds me of you."

I hate when he says something sweet. It makes it hard for me to remember why I'm suppose to hate him.

"How does it remind you of me?"

"Well I know you've changed, but I can't help to see the shy freshmen with a smart mouth and the bluest eyes. So that's why you'll always be young and beautiful to me."

I notice just how close he is to me. I don't make a move to push him away because I don't think he's going to kiss me. Instead he touches my E-necklace Ethan gave me.

"I see you still wear this."

"Yeah I never take it off." He backs up just a little and try to make light of the situation.

"You mean to tell me you haven't taken it off in two years?"

I can hear the disbelief and humor in his voice. I go back and forth with myself on if I should tell him or not. I know where this conversation will go if I do.

"Well I took it off once."

"See I knew it."

Christian and I haven't joked around like this in years. I just want our friendship back. I know if I tell him it's just going to make things awkward between us again.

"The only time I've taken it off was your graduation party"

He becomes silent, I expected that. He looks like he's angry. I expected that as well, but what he does next is the last thing I expected. He slowly presses his lips to mine. It's light and gentle but holds so much meaning. I hate how this makes me feel, I want more. I slowly bring my hands around his neck pulling him closer. I can taste how much he wants this. We're lost in the kiss and we're lost in each other. I'm broken from my daze when I hear my phone ring. I look and see Ethan's picture flashing across my screen. I walk away from Christian to answer it.

"Hey babe. How's your day going?"

"Um, my day is going great."

"Well that's good. Listen I'll Skpe you once I get home, I'm just leaving class."

"Okay."

"Alright love you."

As if I didn't feel bad enough already.

"Love you too."

I hang up the phone and regret everything I've done in the last five minutes.

"Christian, I think you should leave."

"What? Ana you know how much I care about you."

"No you don't. You think you do. What happened should have never happened."

"So I mean nothing to you? That kiss meant nothing to you?"

I know if I'm honest with myself that kiss meant everything, but I will never tell him that.

"Christian, I won't lie, I love you and I'll probably always will -"

He begins to walk toward me and I raise my hand to stop him dead in his tracks.

"But I love Ethan more. I know you think you might love me, but you're too stuck in your ways to change. I don't know if you believe me when I say you're a close, dear friend, but you are."

I hope I don't start crying, lord knows I want to. I can't explain my feelings, I really do love him I just can't be with him. We stand staring at each other not knowing what to do next. I hear the door open and run to Ethan yelling surprise. I thank the high heavens I didn't start crying.

"Ana, what are you doing here?"

I realize at this moment how much I've missed my boyfriend's smiling face. I hug him, making sure he is as close to me as possible.

"Pleas tell me you're surprised."

"I'm super surprised. Hey Christian, I'm guessing you let her in."

Christian is standing behind us, arms folded with a smile plastered on his beautiful face. If I didn't know what happened a few minutes ago I would have guess this was a regular day between Ethan and Christian.

"Yeah I let her in, but I'm on my way out."

I can't really say I disagree that he should leave.

"Okay, well text me."

Just when I think this awkward moment is over, Christian has something else in mind.

"Ana, I was wondering if you could send me that song playing. I think it might just become one of my favorites."

There's something about his voice, it's laced with sorrow and regret even though he's smiling. I know it's wrong but the freshmen deep down inside of me is screaming and crying for him, but the young woman standing in front of Ethan lets him walk away.


	7. Chapter 7

I really need help. I have an idea for Christian and Ana to be together, I just need to breakup Ethan and Ana first. That's where all of you come in. I'm asking you guys to send in some suggestions and I'll pick the best one. I will take every suggestion into consideration. Its just one twist, Ethan can't cheat on Ana. If I don't have any good ideas by tomorrow I'll think of something myself. thank you for reading

Sincerely 1 FANtastic


	8. Chapter 8

I'm sooo sorry for doing this, but I will be taking this story down and starting over. All I ask of you is to please continue to follow and review. If it makes you feel better It will be slightly different.


	9. Chapter 9

**Just so you know this chapter is not edited.I loved every suggestion so I combined them. Like I said I will be starting this story over. It will be called THE STEPS MADE FOR US TO BECOME MORE. please review I won't remove this story until the new one is up tomorrow. I love you for reading **

Chapter 7 APOV

I hate myself right now . I feel like the worst girlfriend ever. Not only did I kiss another guy in my boyfriends apartment, but it was one of his best friends. I start chopping celery to get my mind off of it. I would hate to see what would have happened if Ethan would have walked in on us. I'm so lost in thoughts I don't hear Ethan talking to me.

"Ana, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"You just seem distracted."

I stop chopping and slowly approach my boyfriend, not really sure if I should tell him the truth or keep it to myself. I brush my lips lightly against his with hopes that I would feel the same spark I felt with Christian. Sadly I didn't.

"Ana I couldn't be happier that you're here"

Of course Ethan would say something so sweet when I'm feeling so crappy.

"What can I say besides I've really miss my boyfriend."

"Well I've miss you to. Plus I have some really good news."

I don't know what his news is. It must be huge, he's bounching up and down like a small child. It's pretty funny. I giggle.

"Whatever your news is can it wait until after we eat?"

He joyful mood seems to take a nose dive. I wonder what's that about.

"Yeah I guess so"

Besides Ethan's mood going from joyful to nervous, dinner went well. I made Ethan's favorite beef stew and watched as he ate every single bite. I don't get to do much for Ethan with him being away. So making sure he's well feed is one of the thing I love doing when we're together. I clear the table and start the dishes. I guess I'm just trying to keep my mind off Christian. Oh wait Ethan had some good news and I completely forgot.

"Hey babe. What was your good news?"

He looks stuck alomost like he's gathering his thoughts. His words are slow and hesistant. I start to become nervous, the look on his face makes me panic.

"Ana when I said I had good news I guess I didn't really think about If _you _thought it would be good news."

" Ethan you're confusing me. Is it good news or not?"

"Well I got offered a job. I would be working at a good company with a huge salary. I could be one of the youngest executives."

Oh my god this is great. I know how Ethan feels about his career so I know this is a big deal for him. Wait this is good news so why does he look so defeated.

"Ethan I don't see the problem"

He sighs as If trying to find the courage to say whatever he has to say to make me understand.

"Ana the job is in England."

I still don't understand the problem.

"Ethan what's the problem? We have a long distance relationship now and it's just fine."

"Ana I can't be in a relationship like this anymore."

WHAT? This can't be happening. I love him and he loves me. Granted I love someone else but I've choose Ethan. I thought our relationship had meaning.

"So you're breaking up with me?"

He runs his hand over his face. A nervous tick he has, I should know we been together for two years.

"Ana you're still young. I can't ask you to put you're life on hold for me. You deserve to be with someone who can hold you and kiss you everyday. I can't do that if i'm in a different country."

I try not to cry. I will the tears to stay at bay ,but some how it doesn't work.

"So that's what you think of me? some young girl just waiting around for you?"

He tries to talk but I keep going.

"Ethan I love you that's why I've waited. I don't care how far apart we are I just want to know that you're mines and I'm yours."

He looks as if he wants to cries.

"Ana i'm so sorry."

He's what?

"You're sorry? I've gave you my heart, soul and virginity but all you have to say is sorry."

I can't be here anymore. I put on my jacket and grab my small suit case with hopes he won't stop me. I don't want him to give me a speech about how this is for the best. Us being together would be for the best if he really loved me.

"Ana wait, Where are you going?"

"I'm going to try and catch a plane home. But don't worrie, I'm not your girlfriend anymore so why should you care."

"Ana please just stay it's getting late. I'll drive you to the airport in the morning, let me do this for you."

Now he wants to do something for me.

"Ethan all I ever wanted you to do for me was love me and you couldn't do that."

I slam his door as if i want to break it. I'm so angry right now I want to punch something, yell and get into a fight. Once I get out of the apartment complex I walk not really knowing where to go. I feel lonely. I can't believe this is how my first real relationship ends. I can't hold it anymore and succumb to the tears caused by my heart break.

CPOV

I know I should let Ana go and I want to. It's just that every fiber in my body calls for her. I've never had anything like what I have with Ana. What is it about her? I can have anyone I want, so what is it? I've been racking my brain about this since I left Ethan's. Maybe It's her beauty I'm attracted to. That doesn't make sense, I've been with women just as attractive. This is so fustrating, I love someone and I don't know why. I don't even know why I care. Ana's with Ethan at this very moment, probably eating the wonderful dinner she made him, I don't want to think about what else their doing. I need to get over it. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. I'll just walk around and what ever fast food place catches my eye that's what I'll eat. I grab my keys, phone and wallet then I'm out the door. The hall way is quiet and empty just how I like it. I notice someone coming up the stairs as I'm going down. I hear what sounds like crying and see some one that looks like Ana. Wait, that is Ana.

"Ana. Is that you?"

She looks up and smiles, I know that smile. It's her smile she uses when ever she's trying to be strong. I wait until she reaches the top of the stairs and wrap her in an hug. I just hold her a while wanting to know what the hell happened. She finally pulls it together, Thank god.

"Christian I'm sorry. If you we're going somewhere I could come back."

She sniffles a little. I hate that she doesn't know I'll drop anything for her.

"Ana it's fine. Lets go back to my place so we can talk."

I hadn't notice her suitcase. Wait, why does she have her suitcase? I unlock my apartment and Ana pratically collapse in a fit of tears. I've seen Ana hurt before, just never like this. Even tear stained and heart broken she's beautiful. I can't stand this anymore.

"Ana please tell me what happened."

It takes her a few minutes.

"Ethan broke up with me."

It's barely a whisper but I heard it loud and clear. I'm floored and my emotions are bounching all over the place. I'm happy that she's single, Angry thats she's hurting and scared that I'm to stuck in my ways to be the man that she deserve. RIght now she needs a friend so I guess I'll start with that.

"Please don't cry. If you need me to go kick his ass I will."

she erupts into giggles. I could listen to that sound all day.

"Thank you Christian I really needed that. Listen I know this might be asking to much but I need a place for the night."

I think my heart stopped. I don't know if I could behave myself with Ana here over night.

"Yeah sure. You can sleep in the bed, I'll just take the couch"

See I could be a gentlemen when I want to be.

"It really means alot. I'll warn you now, I might just cry my self to sleep tonight."

"I refuse to let you keep me up all night with your sobbing. So we're going to open up a bottle of Jack and order a pizza."

Her beautiful face lights up. I wish I could make everything better for her , then again I'm not completely sure what really happened.

"I would really like that."

The next two hours go by in a whirlwind of liquor, pizza and heart break. I would never tell Ana ths but I think Ethan did the right thing by breaking up with her. I'm not saying I want her sad, I just want her to enjoy her life. Ana never acts her age. She's all about school and Ethan, well she use to be all about shcool and Ethan. Looking at her now who would have guessed this beautiful drunk young women in front of me is seventeen.

"Christian, this reminds me of your slumber party my freshmen year."

Crap! She's wasted. I know this conversation will bring up bad memiors. Still I jump in head first. The whiskey is clouding my better judgement.

"We had fun that night."

"No. You had fun that night."

Okay I get it I wasn't the nicest guy that night. Ana and I still manage to make a friendship, so I wouldn't say it was so bad.

"If I recall that's where you met Mia. She's like your sister now."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. Besides That night is when Ethan and I really connected."

GOD DAMMIT! I forgot all about that. The mood has sadden and Ana looks like she's on the brink of an emotional break down. I start to panic, I hate when women cry in front of me. I do the only thing I can think of. I crash my lips to hers, not quite sure if she'll push me away. I've kiss many women and it never felt like it does wit Ana. Her lips are warm and soft. Her hands are urgant but steady.

"Ana, wait. Are you sure you want to do this?"

I would hate to do something only to have her regret it in the morning. She doesn't answer. Instead she pulls me in close and kisses me. That's all I need to be sure this is the right thing to do. I love this girl and refuse to fuck her on a couch. So I take her in my bed room. I make little work of her clothes and proceed to kiss every each of her perfect body. I want he rto memeber this as more then just a fuck.

"Ana I love you. This isn't just sex for me."

"I know Christian I love you to."

I think she means it, no I'm sure she means it. I look into her blue eyes and see the purest kind of love. I can't believe I have her here with me rigth now, I'm truly a lucky man. I push into her ever so slowy and still myself. She takes a sharp in take of breath. She's so warm and ready I almost lose It. I pull back a litlle and ease back into her, I want to be gentle.

"Please Christian, go faster."

If she wants faster, She'll get faster. I pump into her as fast as I can go, it's heaven. She rolls over so she's on top straddling me. She pushes herself up and I grab her hips as she pushes back down. I reach one hand out to rub her nipples.i feel her insides gripping my manhood, this is going to be over soon and I just want it to last longer. I lay her back down and go as slowly as just wraps her arms around my waist, holding me as close to her as she can get me. I feel so safe and loved at this very moment I vowel to best the best man I can be for her, with that though I climax, Ana follows calling out what sounds like my name.I want to say something sweet, what comes out is anything but.

"Wow."

I know I should say more, that's just the first thing that came to mind.

"That was amazing. I use to dream about what it would be like with you."

I laugh.

"Who would have thought sweet Anastasia Steele had sex dreams."

We both start to laugh.

"I'm not that sweet freshmen anymore."

"Maybe not,just remember what I told you. You're always going to be young and beautiful to me."

She starts to kiss my chest making her way down my stomach. I feel her warm mouth wrap around my length, god how deep can she take me? When she gets me as hard as she deems fit, she climbs on and takes me back to heaven. The next mornig I have a horrible hangover, can't really say I mind since Ana's wrap around me like a vine. she's still sleep,like I'm suppose to be.I hear a knock on the door, at this very moment I couldn't care less about whoever it is but their beginning to knock louder. I remove myslef from my sleeping beauty and answer the door. Who ever it is better be dying. I swing the door open only to find Ethan.

"Hey Ethan whats wrong."

He looks horrible. He has on the same clothes from yesterday and if I had to put money on it,I would say he has been crying.

"I can't find Ana."

I don't want to tell him she's here.

"I'm sure she's fine. Just call her later."

"You're probably right, Listen if you talk to her, tell her I'll stay if she wants me to."

NO! he can't stay. If he doesn't leave Ana might go back to him.

"Ethan you have to do what's best for your career. whose to say she won't break up with you next year."

"I get what you're saying but I love her."

'Ethan you said it yourself, she seems distant and sad. Maybe she been wanted to break up with you. I think you should just let it go."

One tear rolls down his cheek, I feel like crap.

"Christian I need you do do something for me if you talk to her."

"I'll do anything you need."

He takes a minute to compose himself.

"If you hear from Ana, tell her I won't go If she doesn't want me to. I love her more then my career. I just don't want us to be over. Tell her to call me today, I have to make my decision by morning."

I can't believe he's willing to throw his whole career away for her. I guess this is what true love looks like.

"Ethan, what if she doesn't call?"

"Well if she doesn't call, I'll take the job and be done with her for good. I don't want it to come to that so please if you talk to her tell her what I said."

"Sure Ethan, I'll make sure I let her know."

I watch as my dear friend leaves utterly heart broken. I don't know what to do, If I tell Ana I know she will go back to him. I can't lose her but I don't want Ethan hurt.

"Hey who was at the door?"

Damn she scared me. What should I tell her?

"Um it was just some guy I have a class with."

Well at least it isn't a lie.

"Oh. I thought it might have been one of your friends."

She wiggles her eyebrows up and down making sure I understand what she means. I can't help but laugh.

"I don't think I'll be needing anymore friends. After all, I have you."

I kiss her ever so lightly.

"Well I never thought I'll see the day Christian Grey would want only one girl."

"Yup I want you and only you, so get use to it."

I don't know why but at that very moment I notice that damn necklace. I guess she notices me looking at it. She pulls her hair to one side and turns around so I can unlock the clask and take it off.

"So I'm guessing you're done with Ethan."

"Yes. I wish we could be together, but he's leaving."

See I knew it. If he stays she'll leave and I refuse to let that happen.

"I don't want to talk about your ex, so freshmen how about round three."

I'm rewarded with her school girl giggle.

"Ok just let me check my phone."

Fuck! I'm sure Ethan left a thousand voicemails and text messages.

"Um I have a better Idea how about we get in the shower."

I kiss behind her ear and trail down to her shoulder while my fingers inch closer and closer to her core. I know exactly where this is going.

"Okay. BUt you have to make me breakfast afterwards."

On the way to the shower I realize I have two major things to do today. Fuck Ana senseless so she won't even think about a phone and make sure I delete every trace of Ethan out of her life.


	10. Chapter 10

As promised I wrote this story over. It's the same story just a little bit more. I'm writing a new chapter this very moment, I'll be posting the new chapter under STEPS MADE TO BECOME MORE. Please give it a try.


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